Chapter One: We’re Still in Pittsburgh


What grand adventure doesn’t begin without a bit of misfortune? And so we found ourselves without home or the means to propel ourselves forward as we checked into the 11th Floor, 21st Room of the Holiday Inn just off Highway 30 and Interstate 376. We managed to find some exotic seafood, the kind that I imagine can be found likely nowhere else in the world, and we allowed the television to present us the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

The next morning we enjoyed nothing short of a majestic view of the parkway and lounged around in bed just long enough for it to be time to investigate the hotel bar. Drinks and an episode of Family Feud would ensue.

On the third morning, we had grown tired of the hotel and so we packed our things and headed into the open air of just-outside-of-Pittsburgh. The girl working the front desk gave us directions to a restaurant by the name of Foli’s, and on the way a slow walking, big smiling local smacked his chest in satisfaction of a deed well done, after giving us the low down on the local bus stops and schedules. We made it to the restaurant, frustrated over the circumstances, not so much the loss of forward momentum and a general place to call home, but more so over the lack of knowing what the situation is with repairs and timelines and reality. I enjoyed the feta quite a bit, and there were two posters in the bathroom, one that read “Beer, helping ugly people have sex since 1644.” and another featuring the Three Stooges on a wanted poster which read “Reward: 50 cents each or three for a dollar.” Both where exactly fitting for the place.

A few minutes later our taxi pulls up to ferry us across town. We’d found the location of our RV, having been towed extremely far from where we’d broken down, and were determined to make ourselves get to that location. The driver was Jamaican, and at first seemed quite angry. His voice said so, and his driving could only be described as 0 to 60 every 30 seconds. He would jam the pedal down as soon as there was a foot or more between him and the next car, only to smash the brake into the ground a moment later. He took us completely out of the way to get from point a to point b, and all I could generally think about was how this unsociable, angry, bad driving, no sense of direction guy was the least suitable candidate for being a taxi driver. Nonetheless, he eventually got us to our destination, so in the end the means were met.